How to Set Goals That Align With Your Values (So They Actually Last)

Hello Beautiful Souls ❤️

I used to love challenges — 7-day juice cleanses, a month without meat, even running every single day for 222 days. I thought I was mastering goal setting, but I didn’t realize I was missing one key thing: aligning my goals with my values. Learning how to set values-based goals is the game changer for long-term, sustainable success.

But here’s the thing: the moment the challenge ended, the structure disappeared, the motivation faded, and I found myself back in the same patterns I’d tried to change. The problem wasn’t discipline, willpower, or even the challenge itself. It was that my goals were misaligned with what truly mattered to me. I realized that short-term goals, no matter how intense or consistent, don’t always lead to long-term change if they aren’t rooted in what you actually value.

That realization changed everything. I started noticing a pattern in myself: I could commit to challenges, perform perfectly, and even feel proud… but the long-term impact was almost zero. After 30 days, after the checklist was done, the results often slipped away. If I wanted transformation that lasted, my goals needed to be aligned with my values, not just the calendar or a fleeting motivation.

My History With Short-Term Goals

For years, I thrived on challenges. Almost every year, I gave up meat for a month. I completed seven-day juice cleanses. I committed to drinking a gallon of water every day for thirty days. I even tried intensive programs like 75 Hard. Each time, my motivation was to prove something to myself — that I was disciplined, capable, strong. I could perform at my best, and for a while, it felt like I was building the “ideal” version of myself.

But eventually, the performance ended. Even after 222 days of running, the structure and motivation were external — driven by the goal itself, not my values. When the goal ended, the habits that were never truly mine slipped away. That’s when I realized the missing piece: long-term sustainability comes from goals rooted in your values, not just time-limited challenges.

Before I Knew My Values

Before I took the time to examine my priorities, my values looked like this:

• Freedom

• Independence

• Safety

• Relationships

• Travel

Individually, none of these were bad. They reflected exactly where I was in life at the time. But in practice, they led me to people-pleasing, making decisions to maintain relationships rather than from genuine desire, prioritizing comfort over authenticity, and constantly worrying about what others thought. I was living a life that seemed “successful” from the outside, but didn’t feel like mine from the inside.

How My Values Shifted

When I slowed down and really examined what mattered to me, I learned my true Hierarchy of Values were:

• Mental Health & Personal Growth

• Authenticity

• Spirituality

• Integrity

• Health

These values don’t just look good on paper — they actively guide my decisions every day. Your top values influence your decisions unconsciously. They show up in the choices you make naturally, often without even realizing it. The rest of your values still matter, but they require intentional effort to prioritize. For me, even though I wanted to improve relationships, my top values — mental health, personal growth, and authenticity — always took precedence. The others still matter, but I have to make conscious decisions to honor them.

The difference is profound: when my goals align with my top values, staying consistent doesn’t feel like discipline. It feels like self-respect. And here’s a key example: instead of doing a “Dry January,” I’m just going dry. It’s not a 30-day challenge anymore. It’s a lifestyle choice that aligns with my values and is measurable over time.

Why Most Goals Don’t Stick

Most goal-setting advice focuses on discipline, motivation, and consistency. That advice isn’t wrong — it just misses the point. Short-term goals that aren’t aligned with your values are performative. You can push yourself for seven days, thirty days, even 222 days, but eventually, the effort stops, and you return to old patterns.

For years, I was chasing goals that weren’t truly mine. Achieving them gave me a momentary thrill, but it never lasted because they weren’t grounded in what mattered to me. Alignment, not performance, is what makes change sustainable.

Setting Goals That Actually Work

When your goals are aligned with your values, everything changes. Goals stop feeling like chores and start feeling like natural extensions of who you are. You don’t need to force yourself or “perform” for anyone. You’re not chasing validation. You’re living in alignment.

Timeframes still matter. Goals need measurement to track progress and celebrate milestones. But the difference is this: the timeframe becomes a tool, not the driver. Your values guide the goal. When your goal is aligned, performing for 30 days becomes a meaningful step in a larger, sustainable journey, not just a fleeting challenge.

Getting Clear on Your Own Values

Discovering your Hierarchy of Values isn’t about becoming someone new — it’s about understanding yourself more deeply. Notice what you naturally prioritize. Pay attention to moments of frustration, guilt, or resentment — they often point to values being violated.

Reflect on the people you admire or those who frustrate you; these reactions reveal what you truly value. And finally, get honest about ranking your values. Clarity comes from recognizing what’s non-negotiable, not just listing what “sounds good.”

When you get clear on your values, goal setting becomes intuitive rather than exhausting. Your goals stop being short-term performances and start becoming steps in a life that feels authentic, meaningful, and sustainable.

Want Help Getting Clear on Your Values?

I’m trained in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), and one of the most powerful things I help clients uncover is their true Hierarchy of Values — not the one they think they have, but the one already guiding their life.

When you get clear on this, goal setting becomes simpler, decisions feel lighter, and you stop fighting yourself.

If this resonated, I’d love to support you.

Book your free discovery call, and let’s uncover what’s really guiding your goals.

Love,

Nicole