7 Signs You're Growing (Even If You Don't See It Yet)

Hello Beautiful Souls

Let’s be real for a moment — personal growth can be frustrating.

We work so hard on ourselves — going to therapy, reading all the books, journaling, meditating, talking about our feelings — but sometimes it feels like nothing is changing.

If you’ve ever thought “Am I even getting better?”, you’re not alone.

But here’s the truth: healing, growth, and self-love don’t always look or feel the way we expect. Sometimes, we are making huge strides without even realizing it.

Today, I want to share 7 subtle but powerful signs that you are growing — plus why we often don’t see them, and a little reminder to keep going (because you are doing better than you think).

Why You Might Not See Your Own Growth

First, let me say this: your brain is wired to notice what’s wrong, not what’s right.

This is called the negativity bias — and it means that even when you’re making progress, your mind is more likely to focus on what still needs "fixing."

Also, when you’re in the middle of the process, growth can feel slow, messy, and invisible. It’s like watching a plant grow — you don’t notice it day to day, but give it time and suddenly it’s blooming.

So if you’ve been doubting yourself, this is your reminder to pause and notice the signs that you ARE growing.

7 Signs You’re Growing (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

1. You’re kinder to yourself when you "mess up."

Instead of going straight to self-blame or spiraling into negative self-talk, you’re starting to catch yourself. Maybe you still have that inner critic, but now you pause and question it. You might say, “Okay, I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a failure.” That moment of compassion toward yourself is growth — because before, you might have let that voice tear you down for days. Even just realizing you deserve gentleness when you fall short is a huge shift. Self-love often starts with how we speak to ourselves in those moments when we feel the most vulnerable.

2. You pause before reacting.

Growth looks like catching yourself in the middle of a reaction and choosing a different way. Maybe you feel the anger, the frustration, or the urge to shut down — but instead of lashing out or retreating, you take a breath. Even if you still react sometimes, the fact that you're starting to notice and pause is a huge win. This pause is where your power lives — it means you are learning to respond to life instead of just reacting. So every time you stop, take a breath, and choose how to handle a situation, you’re growing emotional resilience.

3. You set (or think about setting) boundaries.

If you’ve started thinking, “Actually, I’m not okay with that,” that’s growth. Even if you haven’t said the words out loud yet, the awareness of your limits is a massive step forward. It takes so much courage to start recognizing where you need to protect your peace, especially if you were taught to people-please or ignore your needs. When you say "no" or distance yourself from situations that drain you, you’re choosing yourself — and that’s what self-love is about. So celebrate every moment you speak up, even if your voice shakes.

4. You recover faster from tough moments.

Healing doesn’t mean life will be perfect — hard moments will still happen. But the difference is how long you stay in that dark place. Maybe a comment used to ruin your whole week, but now it only lingers for a day. Maybe you used to be overwhelmed for hours, but now you bounce back quicker. That ability to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going is a sign of real inner strength. You’re not failing because you still get upset — you’re thriving because you know how to care of yourself through it. That’s what growth really looks like: resilience, not perfection.

5. You notice and celebrate small wins.

Once upon a time, you may have ignored your progress because it didn’t feel "big enough." But now, when you get out of bed on a hard day, make a healthy choice, or set a boundary, you pause to give yourself credit. You realize that healing is built on small steps, not giant leaps — and those small steps matter. Maybe you write them down in a journal, or maybe you just whisper to yourself, “I’m proud of me.” This shift — noticing what you’re doing right instead of focusing only on what’s wrong — is a profound act of self-love.

6. You feel more comfortable being yourself.

This one hit me personally not too long ago.

Last week, I went for a run in leggings because it was a bit cool outside. My trainer looked at me and said, “Wow, I haven’t seen you in long pants in forever.” It made me realize how far I’ve come. For years, I never wore shorts because I was so self-conscious about my body. I hid behind clothes that made me feel "safe." But for the past two years, I’ve been wearing shorts without a second thought — not because my body changed, but because my relationship with my body changed. So if you find yourself expressing your true self, wearing what you want, or speaking up more, that’s a powerful sign that you’re growing into who you were always meant to be.

7. You forgive yourself more easily.

Self-forgiveness is one of the hardest parts of growth. But if you’re starting to let go of guilt, shame, or regret a little sooner than before, that’s big. Maybe you used to replay mistakes in your head for days, but now you can say, “I’m learning. I don’t have to be perfect.” Choosing to give yourself grace instead of punishment shows that you are developing a gentler, healthier relationship with yourself. Forgiveness doesn't mean you don’t care — it means you care enough to let yourself grow without holding your past against you.

Why These Signs Matter

These might seem small, but they’re huge. They show that you are rewiring old patterns, softening into self-love, and creating a new way of being. And yes, sometimes the work is slow and you wonder if it’s worth it. But these signs? They’re the quiet proof that you’re becoming the version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be — one breath, one choice at a time.

If You Needed a Sign to Keep Going, This Is It

To the woman who feels like she’s trying and not getting anywhere — I see you. 

You are growing. You are healing. You are enough.

Even when you can’t see it, change is happening under the surface.

So if no one has told you today: 

💛 I’m proud of you. 

💛 You’re doing better than you think. 

💛 Keep going.

Let’s Reflect (Great if you you love to journal)

If you want to reflect on how far you’ve come, here are a few prompts:

1. What’s one thing I can handle now that I couldn’t handle a year ago?

2. How am I kinder to myself today than I was before?

3. What’s one small thing I’ve done recently that shows growth?

✨ If this resonates, I’d love to hear what sign of growth you’re noticing in yourself. Drop a comment or send me a message — let’s celebrate your progress together!

💛 Want more support on your journey to self-love and healing? Book a free clarity call with me — let’s chat about where you are and how I can support you in your journey.

Sending you lots of love,

Nicole